Monday, December 3, 2007

WWYD if you had one more day?

Holly posted a comment to my 'every family has a ghost' post. I referenced the book "One More Day" in that post which is about a guy who gets one more day with his dead mother. Holly talked about what she would do if she had one more day with her mom...I thought this would be an interesting question to ask everyone. I myself have to ponder this for a while, but I wanted to put this out there for you all to think about as well. What would you do if you had one more day with your mother? Hmm, if only..

the holidays

I know the holidays are hard for all of us. Why not post your thoughts on the subject to help other members out? How do you handle the holidays? Have you found other things to make them more bearable? Please click 'Comments' below to post.

I'm not sure I have found a surefire way of making the holidays less painful. But I think that I have just found other things to focus on to make the holidays enjoyable. I have created my own traditions to replace the recurring ones that no longer exist since losing my mom. It gives me a sense of continuity that seems to be missing. My favorite thing every year is to put the last Christmas card my mother gave me in my tree. It says "Julie, Merry Xmas, Love Mom". Makes me feel like I get a Christmas card from my mom each year. Makes me smile.

Thursday, November 1, 2007


Julie, Do you recommend the book? What did you think of it?

every family has a ghost..

When you lose someone close to you, you look around at those who have not yet been faced with that pain and you both envy and pity them. You envy them because they have not yet suffered the unspeakable but inevitable loss, and you pity them because you know what they are in for. I was watching a friend of mine with his parents the other night and it occurred to me how big of a hole losing a parent puts in your life. People lose their parents every day so there's this impression that it is not that bad, that it is survivable. But for those of us who have suffered the loss, we know there is piece of yourself that is lost forever. You go through the rest of your days trying to move forward but always knowing that you have left a piece of yourself behind. It is like a bomb hits your home but you carry on as normal. And I recently read a book by Mitch Albom called "One More Day". It's about a man who gets to spend one last day with his dead mother. In the book he says, "every family has a ghost." As I was watching my friend with his parents, I realized that his family does not yet have a ghost. And I started thinking about families I knew that had lost someone close to them, and how different they were before and after. Before it happens, you enjoy the luxury of taking someone for granted. You make plans as if they will always be around, even though we all know at some point we will lose them. Those are the times you can be in denial and not have to think or deal with the pain. I envied my friend as I watched him. I wanted to be where he was. And then I pictured what he and his family will be like when one or both of his parents pass on. They will carry on and move forward as a family, because you just have to. But you carry on always with this heavy pain in your heart that things are not the same without them. That's the "ghost" in every family. That person or persons that were your whole life, and the empty space left behind by their absence. The empty space is the ghost. You can see it in the faces of people who have lost someone. Like they have endured a war and something in their eyes tells you something inside of them has died, too. They put on a brave face, but you can feel the void. Every family has a ghost...

Friday, October 26, 2007


Welcome to the new Motherless Daughters blog..

I have created this for our members, especially those who have not yet had the opportunity to attend a meeting, but would still like to participate and share ideas and thoughts with our members. It's my way of making sure everyone gets an opportunity to benefit from input and discussions amongst our group members.

I hope that you will be encouraged, and find hope and peace in the knowledge that you are not alone.