Two Dimensional

Do you ever have moments where you are so stressed or worried about something, that you lose perspective and focus? You forget how strong you are and how strong you have been, and where you came from?
For me, this happens sometimes. I get so focused on the "now" that I forget who I am and how capable I am of being or doing anything I want to. Before my mother died, I would always call her in those moments, and she would remind me how special I am, how loved I am, and put it all neatly into perspective for me so I could carry on.
I have said so many times that losing my mother was like losing a piece of myself. There is a hole inside me that is always there and can never be filled, no matter how many truly wonderful people I come in contact with. No one will ever love me or know me the way she did. I have learned to live with the emptiness as the years have passed, but in the process I have become so lonely and so isolated on a certain level. I don't always notice, but living with that missing piece sometimes makes me feel two-dimensional. I give into my insecurities and that is all I can see.
I had an opportunity recently to look through old family photos and I was reminded that I was once part of a whole family, I was once a loved and cherished daughter. I used to feel strong as long as my mother was around because I always knew I had a soft place to land even if I failed. Now if I fail, I have no one to remind me that failure does not define me. I try to carry myself through the insecurities and the failures but sometimes I cannot bolster myself with confidence. And I know now it's because I let a part of myself go when my mother died just to try and survive. As I looked at the photos, I felt whole again. I remembered who I was and I saw myself through my mother's eyes...a much loved daughter who is special even when she doesn't realize it.
My mother is gone but her love is always here when I need it, and I just need to remember that.