More PAin

My son's dead was killed in a car accident last Tuesday. I am devestated for my son. I can barely watch him carry this loss, I know how difficult it can be to lose a parent. I truely believe that losing the same sex parent is the hardest. Please pray for my son.

Hurting

Wow, no one has been here in awhile, including myself. I have had a trying week to say the least. I am having some difficulties with my teenage son. I could really use my mom this week, I have done a lot of crying, mostly in solitude, a little to friends. My son is such a beautiful person, he is big hearted and so funny, growing up is hard to do and he has been hurting lately and it breaks my heart to see him in pain. I feel at times I have not been the best mother, in part because of the lack of a mother in my life. At one point his week I felt defeated, I lacked parental confidence. I did not know how I would push forward, A friend said, "You can do it, yes you can". To realize someone had confidence in me was all I needed to have the confidence in myself. I have went through a series of emotions this week, I was upset and sad, I started questioning my own self, doubting my abilities and then finally the anger came which gave me a boost to deal with the situation instead of cowering in the corner. I told my son yesterday that I loved him and there was nothing he could do that could make me love him less. For the first time I truly felt like a mother.