Wednesday, February 27, 2008

Trying to change my perspective

I had a bit of a revelation today that I wanted to share. I have shared at the meetings that one of the enormous issues I am currently dealing is my mother's age when she passed. She was 31 and I am 30. Her age slowly became a fixation for me. And I have realized that it was there, under the surface, before I ever consciously realized it. I am trying to work on the fear that surrounds this and all the ways which it affects me.

So, here is the revelation. Instead of living in fear of dying at this age like my mom did, I am going to choose to change my perspective. I going to work toward appreciating each day that I am here, instead of fearing when my time here will come to an end. I want to learn from what happened to her that you never know when you will leave this world, but instead of worrying about it, accept it. And do all the things that I desire to accomplish now, instead of putting it off with the assumption that there is plenty of time. In doing so, I will shift from fearing death to appreciating life and therefore will enjoy my life more. Then whenever my time comes, I will be able to smile and say that I made the best of my time here.

Wednesday, February 13, 2008

Mirror Image

People who knew my mother have always told me how much I look like her, of course I could never see it. I have worn braces for the last 3 years, I had them removed yesterday. Today as I was looking in the mirror I saw my mother looking back at me and it made me smile bigger!